If you haven’t seen it yet, check out http://apple.com

Enough said. I cannot wait to buy one.

I think Droid’s marketing campaign is weak at best.

I know the marketing team meant it as a statement of strength, like (read this next bit in a superhero voice) What can droid do? It can do anything! It can even do apps. (stop reading in your superhero voice) *BUZZER SOUND* Wrong answer.

Here’s the problem(s):

1) When someone says that a particular piece of technology “does” something it sounds like they don’t know what they’re talking about. Droid ‘does’ the facebook! It ‘does’ the email! It ‘does’ the touchscreen! It ‘does’ that crazy schmoyle thingamajig! Droid ‘does’ the STUPID. Stop with the ‘does this’, ‘does that’ business.

suggestion 1) Instead of saying it ‘does’ anything, be specific. If apps are its strongest point,  say “Droid has an awesome app market where everything you could imagine is at your fingertips, and literally anyone with an idea can make an app for that.” or something along those lines. Also, are apps really your strongest feature? What about a specific app in action? That is much more interesting and then people want it for specifically that, which is good! It’s a story that goes like this:

“Lalalala, I’m just walking down the street. Uh oh, I just spilled grape juice down my blouse. oh great. oh great. oh great. Now I have to get it dry cleaned! Also, I’m about to get mugged! BZZZZOOWW!! Droid to the rescue! Now with our brand new grape stain remover app, you can now be sure that your blouses have nothing to fear when you go out on the town armed with a grape soda, high heels and a poor sense of balance! Also, need to get rid of that pesky mugger?! BLUDGEON THAT BASTARD TO DEATH with your HUGE DROID PHONE! Droid will literally save your life. *Ding!*” …and scene. See the difference? Much more effective, and the people that you want to buy your phones will be able to relate.

2) The whole phrase, “Droid does apps.” seems a bit whiny if you think of it with a ‘yeah but,’ in front of it. It sounds like they’re saying, well, iPhone does apps, but droid does apps too! Wahhhhhh! Also, there’s poop in my diapers. Good thing my diaper does poop! yaaaaaaay

suggestion 2) Don’t try and respond to how awe-inspiring the iPhone is. Innovate on your own (you are good at it). I know it’s hard when your whole product is a reaction to Apple’s game changer that has transformed the way people think about phones and what they are capable of, but you can do much better. Push the fact that it’s open to everyone. Push the fact that you will beat people up if they don’t buy your phone. Push the fact that you’re freaking google, and you made a freaking phone.

I mean c’mon. YOU”RE GOOGLE. Push people around! Or maybe just don’t tell me that your stuff does stuff.

Sincerely,

Dann Stockton

JJ Abrams Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse should be ashamed of themselves for writing such bollocks.

Here’s what makes me most excited, though! The new iPhone will be coming out soon, and as much as I loved the iPad, I wouldn’t really NEED one. Having said that, if Apple puts in their own processor and does some other nifty things to the new iPhone, I am going to snatch one up quicker than you can say “spbt.” (Try saying it. It doesn’t take much time at all.)

Anyway, if I ever DO get an iPad, I will wait until they have the 2nd or 3rd generation out and they are cheaper. That is all.

I cannot wait to be married to her. If you told me 2 years ago that I would be getting married in July 2010, I would have told you to go somewhere else with your crazy talk. Now, looking back, it’s really awesome to see everything we’ve done together.

I’m marrying my best friend, and it’s so exciting, and I feel so lucky.

I love Jenny for her wit, her kindness, her generosity, her willingness to work things out with me, and her ability to make me belly laugh. I can’t get over how sweet it is when she laughs at my jokes that we both know are not that funny, and the way she smiles at me when we’re together. I love being able to look into her eyes and know that she loves me back for who I am. She’s so supportive of my dreams and hopes  and desires, and is more encouraging and inspiring than I could ever express to her. To say that spending my life with her, sharing everything and growing old together makes me excited would be an understatement. I love her more and more every day, and my hope is that our love will continue to grow and mature into something even more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

Being with Jenny is the best. I have the best time with her even if we’re not doing anything specific or planned–although, I have to say, going on planned dates are one of my favorite things to do with her. Holding her face in my hands and looking deeply into her beautiful brown eyes has to be one of my dearest and truest treasures.

I feel incredibly lucky to be a part of Jenny’s life. As the time draws nearer and nearer to being married to her, my excitement and anticipation for all the wonderful things to come is building. I cannot wait to call her my wife, live together, wake up together, cook together, share our lives with one another, and build our future together. It’s exciting to know that I will be able to accomplish more than I ever thought possible simply because of our commitment to one another. Our desire to lay our lives down for each other in gratitude and humility whilst pursuing grace in all things in order to be able to really love one another and the people around us is really what it’s all about.

I can’t think of anything that I want more.

I love you, Jenny. You are more beautiful than you’ll know.

I bet I scared you. Why you ask? Because there were cobwebs in here, and I just busted through them.

New news:

Marriage. Woo! Cannot wait. 3.46 months. So excited.

New websites:

dannstockton.com (updated, and pretty, go look! Better yet, go buy a painting!)

iFixitToday.com (I fix computers and broken iPhones! Check it out and send your friends!)

I’m too sleepy to write much more. Good night.

How will people with a Boston accent differentiate between an iPod and an iPad?

Answer:

???

In other news, I’m pretty excited about the JesusTablet from Apple. Hooray pretty things!

Details to come.

Also, I think instead of saying “Google” I’m going to replace it with “Guggenheim” Try saying “Guggenheim it!” It’s fun.

The shirts were just the ones on display. I’m sure there were many more.

Also, in case you missed the memo, I’m a top athlete. There’s a nice video to go along with it, too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7518888.stm