I have nothing to blog about. I am about to venture off to Houston. In 1 week, I will be there, getting ready to record an album that will change my life. I have high hopes and expectations, but I can’t help but be anxious and nervous and cynical.
Sometimes, I am so hopeful that what I am doing makes a difference. At other times, and regretfully, more often than not, I feel pretty insignificant, and I wonder if I am wasting my life or my time, or, more importantly, other people’s time. I wonder if I will really be able to affect anyone else ever if I never get over myself and stop making myself out to be so introverted.
I had a thought the other day. Ruining a romantic relationship because of self esteem issues is rooted in selfishness. Maybe that’s already apparent to everyone else, but it just struck me as profound. I wonder if every breakdown of every relationship comes down to being selfish. Maybe the ones who last are just less selfish than the rest of us. Is it possible to really be unselfish? Would it really be beneficial? How much selfishness (if any) is needed to stay alive, let alone make a relationship work? Would you constantly be taken advantage of if you are truly, and totally unselfish? I wish I was a better writer, and I could express my thoughts more eloquently. Maybe it’s another ‘moderation’ issue.
I feel like moderation is not moderated enough. People overlook it. Some things shouldn’t be moderated. (i.e. Air, Love, Beauty, etc.) Some things you shouldn’t have at all. (i.e. Black Tar Heroin, STD’s, bad puns)
I guess I am just like everyone else in that everyone else has things that they have to overcome. Also, deep down, I just want to be liked.
Hahaha. I just re-read all of that. Enough said.
Also, if you haven’t already seen it, I highly, highly recommend a movie called “The American Astronaut” It’s put out by a band called “The Billy Nayer Show” Quite fantastic. Check it out, and let me know what you think. Gah! It’s so good! I’m Ceres.
harharhar